By: Danielle Wilson
The following is an excerpt from a journal I kept while receiving my 200hr Yoga Teacher Certification in Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica. I resided in the jungle with twenty-five other women, no cell service, no flushing toilets, no sign of westernized civilization. My detox from the craze of twenty-first century life put me back in touch with a primal part of my being I never realized I’d cut myself off from. The joy that fostered within my soul as I lived beneath a canopy of life was palpable, intoxicating even. I hesitate to say that it change me, as rather, it woke me up to a truer self that was living dormant inside of me all along…
March 29, 2018
I think one of my ultimate realizations here in Costa Rica has been that I am never as happy and at peace as I am when I am in connection with my wild woman self. That feminine force inside me that used to roll around in the mud, play with worms as a little girl. I would leap into the unknown without fear or apprehension, with an undying faith and bravery at my back. I loved nothing other than to bask in the breeze that kissed my face from dusk until dawn, if weather permitted, and sometimes even when it didn’t. Play, investigation, and discovery were not only a priority, but the purest catalyst of joy. This wild woman energy knows no limitations, no unearthly distractions or ego-driven insecurities. It’s something, I see now, that has always been a part of me, sometimes waiting patiently for my nurturing attention or other times, screaming to be heard through my tears and fears of this somewhat superficial western life.
Being here, amongst the energy and life of the jungle, has provided a potent reminder of my ancestral roots, my primal female being. During ritual, when we sing as a sangha, I can feel in my heart, and see through my mind’s eye, my tribal ancestors singing with equal, if not stronger, conviction. I feel how connected they are with each other and Mama Earth, and how committed they are, and always have been, to guiding me towards cultivating that very connection myself. I feel it in every moment that a flower, or a rock, or a bug catches my eye—my intense need to stop and study it, showing my appreciation for its presence and call to me. It’s amazing, the patience and love Mama Earth has shown for me through years and years, decades even, of being blinded to Her magic I once submerged myself in. How do I repay Her? If I could, would she even accept such an offer? Or maybe all she wants is for me to follow the call I am finally tuning in to. I will. I am, and if I ever begin to veer away from that call, I pray the women of my ancestral past will call to me louder than ever before. More so, I pray I will listen.
For now, I will continue to sing from the depths of my wild being. I will dedicate myself to honoring all that carry this divine energy within them—all beings and manifestations of the Universe. From the food that finds its way to my plate, the dirt beneath my feet, the air that I breathe, and the people passing by, I will bring awareness and celebration to the lives and purpose of them all. I will grace them with the love and presence they deserve—for they are me, and I am them.
I feel so blessed, so, so blessed. To be a woman. To be this woman. To be divine. Just to be.